Searching for large family solutions

Ever find yourself searching and scouring the net to find "solutions" to the never-ending pile of laundry? Or trying to figure out just the best way to homeschool? What about how to occupy toddlers and babies while schooling older children. Oh, and let's not forget searching for the perfect curriculum, or how to be a good wife and mother. Is it just me or is this search a bit misdirected?

Recently I read an article in an Above Rubies magazine. The editress told a story about how she used to do her quiet time. Except it wasn't quiet at all. She brought all her 6 young children in her room, gave them some toys, knelt down and began to pray. Finally someone came knocking at her bedroom door to ask her to keep the children quiet...except that she didn't even realize the children were being noisy. Her conclusion was that God has equipped mothers to multi-task. The reason we find it so difficult is because of our negative attitude. If we think we can't do it, well, we can't. And I know she isn't saying you can "do it all". She's just saying that you can do more than you think and that we must change our attitudes. We wonder in amazement how on earth we can accomplish the many things on our lists. So we search for answers. Yet have any of us really found "THE" answer? I know we all know that our only true source is the Lord. Only he can give us the grace to do this difficult job.

But besides that, what is it that we are really looking for? I believe it's joy and peace. The laundry will pile up, whether or not you give your children only 5 outfits each to wear, or don't organize any of it. The dishes will get dirty, the toddler will make a mess that takes an hour to clean in our already full day. The baby will cry for an hour at night when we planned to work on that chore chart we started last week. Finally, we are too tired to sit and do our school planning for the next day so we stumble into bed, only the baby decides to wake us up about a half hour into our sleep. And so it goes on...

Is there a system to make this easier? Is there a solution to our constant search to find happiness? You could say having less children would have prevented these problems, but I doubt less children produces a fulfilled mother. Otherwise she wouldn't be searching for ways to fill her time with new careers, new hobbies, and even ministries.

No, we were made to multi-task. We were made to keep our hands busy. The blessing is there, in the pile of laundry? No...tee hee...the blessing is rejoicing that you are called blessed. Rejoicing that even if you cry over spilled milk, your oldest puts his arm around you and says "It's ok Mommy, I'll help you clean it up". Rejoicing when the toddler asks yet one more time..."will you play trains with me Mommy?" You ignore the laundry and sit and play even if it's while you nurse. When your five year old asks you to read a book, for the 3rd time, you sit and smile and thank the Lord for another chance to cuddle this young girl who won't be in your home forever!

We have stop searching for the answer to our problem on someone else's website. I have to stop trying to find the "perfect plan" that will make my home, well, perfect. What I need is joy right now, no matter what. I need to smile at my children no matter what. And if I break down into sobs because I burnt the cookies that were essential to tomorrow's snack for our outing, then I can turn around, apologize to my children and ask them if they don't mind eating an extra apple that day. All with joy!

I don't think there is a perfect plan. No perfect laundry systems, and no perfect curriculum. I tried to teach history this year, but with a fussy baby, it was hit and miss. Well guess what, my oldest loves history and read the volumes I bought twice each. He quotes them to me almost daily. It seems the Lord wanted him to learn his history this year, and he did even though I couldn't fit it in. The Lord will accomplish his will in your home. But it may not look like you think it should! That's ok, it's not about me (my husband's favorite saying!). It's not about my great teaching skills, or my perfect homeschooling plan.

I'm not saying we should give up and not try to organize or find ways to occupy our toddlers while we school. We should still try to get our laundry done, doing all these things unto the Lord and "looking well to the ways of our households." But we have to have joy, a positive attitude, and complete reliance on the Lord for today even when we don't, or can't. We must pray each day that the Lord's will be done, not our own. Seeking to have a clean house because we think that only then we will be happy, is not surrendering to the Lord. It's complete selfishness. Seeking to have a clean house to train our children in good habits and to bless them and our husbands, is a godly attitude. Doing it selflessly without complaining or feeling angry because we were interrupted yet again is "taking up our crosses and following him." When we do as Romans 12 and offer up our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is our reasonable service, we are simply doing our duty. Nothing spectacular, and I think women of old knew that.

Today we have forgotten our duties and complain when life is hard. I don't want to be that woman. I want to smile when my husband comes home, even if there is laundry piled on the floor, or piled in every room, toys on the floor, dishes on the counter...It will bless him far more than a clean house with a contentious woman.

I could go on...but time is short in a busy household :) That's why I'm writing this to myself...so that I don't forget. :)